Déjà Vu

Nearly everyone I've spoken to has admitted to experiencing déjà vu. I know I certainly have. Quite frequently, as a matter of fact. I consider myself a bit of a déjà vu connoisseur.

Ever wonder what the hell is going on when that happens? I sure do. And I have some ideas. But before I talk theory, let me tell you about an experience I once had.

It was a grey, cloudy sort of day. Nice and cool out, just the way I like it. Most people love their hot and sunny days. Not me. Bit of vampire in me, or Minecraft zombie. I don't care for the sun. Too bright, hurts my brain. Too hot. I like to dress in layers. That day, I was wearing brown cargo pants, a t-shirt that read "Brown Chicken, Brown Cow", and a black and grey plaid long sleeve shirt over that, unbuttoned and hanging open. This was my ensemble. But I was in need of a new hat. One of those hats you see the Irish wear, the newsboy flatcaps that snap in the front. I love those hats!

I was in the store, CJ Penney I believe. In the section where you can find ties, belts, and hats. Looking in the mirror, I was trying on several hats to get the right size (I've got a skull that would make an elephant look twice). Suddenly, I get this sensation that I had already tried that very same hat in front of that very same mirror before, wearing these very same clothes. I dropped the hat. Which I also did the time before. As I bent to pick it back up, I noticed a wallet under the tie rack. Just far back enough to be hidden from view when standing upright. Just. Like. Before.

If you've experienced déjà vu, then you know the sensation I'm talking about. A tickling feeling in the back of my brain. The hairs on my neck stand up. Slight ringing in my ears. I remember picking up the wallet in the déjà vu, as I pick up the wallet again in the present. I remember walking toward the nearest CJ Penney employee, just like I was doing again this time. But, this time I stopped. I had the strangest inclination to change course. To break the cycle. To shatter the déjà vu. I stopped walking toward the employee. I stopped, I spun around, and I walked back to the mirror.

It took effort. Like I was walking through thicker air. It seemed like there was a slight resistance to my movement. Like the déjà vu wanted me to complete the original action. It didn't want me to choose my own path. I was defying its will.

I pushed through the resistance (was it real?), struggled back to the mirror, and looked at myself. Still wearing the new hat, wallet in hand. Breathing heavy with the effort of walking through air thick as water. I wasn't supposed to be here, at the mirror. I knew that, deep down. I was supposed to be talking to that 18 year old kid with the dirty glasses, turning in the wallet I found. Not over here, staring at my pale reflection. Wearing my black Hitchhiker's Guide "42" t-shirt and my green plaid unbuttoned over top.

Wait a minute. I thought I wore my "Brown Chicken Brown Cow" t-shirt today. What the hell is going on here? I swear I had the black flannel over "Brown Chicken Brown Cow"! How is it that I'm now wearing my green flannel over my "42" shirt?

I pinched myself. Was I dreaming? I felt the pinch. I couldn't have been dreaming then. What just happened? This was too weird. Maybe I didn't wear the "Brown Chicken Brown Cow" shirt when I walked into the store. Maybe I remembered that wrong.

I eventually turned in the wallet, bought the hat, and left the store. My head was still in a daze. The sun was bright and hot, making me squint. I was sweaty by the time I got back to my car. Sitting in my hot car for a moment, I rolled down the windows and contemplated the bizarre event.

That's when it hit me. It was hot and sunny out! But it was a cool and grey day when I walked into the store 15 minutes ago!

Sometimes, I look back on that day and pretend nothing happened. Because that's easier on my brain than the alternatives. What are the alternatives? Now we get to my theories...

1. I misremembered what I was wearing and what the weather was like (this theory seems the simplest, and the easiest to accept).

2. I hit my head on something as I bent to pick up the wallet and was suffering from a concussion...

3. I was abducted by aliens who probed me (why else would I be taken?), changed my attire (they don't like farm animals, and agree with Douglas Adam's theory on the number 42 and chose to send me a sign), and deposited me back into my life. Oh, and they also changed the weather.

4. I changed lanes in the multidimensional highway that is the multiverse and simply deposited myself in a new, slightly different lane/reality that only changed my clothing and the sky.

5. I was kidnapped by the government, who probed me (they got the idea from the aliens), changed my attire (the heads of the FBI and the Dept of Agriculture are currently at odds with each other. The farm animals offended the FBI, and they are also fans of Douglas Adams), and deposited me back at the store. Oh, and DAARPA. You know, contrails, acres and acres of gigantic satellite dishes up in Alaska, etc.

6. I was on hallucinogenics (though one wonders why I wouldn't see aliens and/or government agents in this case...).

7. Déjà vu is just this weird thing that people think happen, but doesn't actually happen.

8. Brain fart (also one of the more easily believed conclusions).

I can't help but wonder if there is so much more under the surface that we are oblivious to. That beyond the number 42, there is some deeper meaning (no offense, Mr. Adams). Coincidence, synchronicity, the Mandela Effect, déjà vu, etc. It’s like something is just messing with us and giggling behind its hands. Something bigger than you or me. Or, maybe I just read too much sci-fi...