Hindsight

Alright, people. Don't think I can't see the analytics. I can tell no one is reading this. I CAN TELL. The wizard behind the curtain has access to buttons and levers and flying monkey spies (not sure if that makes any sense, it's been a really long time since I've seen that movie). But do you know what the difference is between a flake who writes pointless blogs and a madman who'll continue to do so knowing nobody's even paying attention? None. Same dude. I don't really care. I mean, maybe I care. But I'm not going to let it stop me. This is only the beginning. Later, when I'm ruler of the world, journalists will piece together the origin story and they will find this blog, dusty and untouched (can blogs get dusty?). Then, they will read. Then you ALL will read. First, a few will discover it. There'll be a story or two written about it, also that no one will read. Then, as my power grows, more will pay attention and wonder how the madness started. How was the world as they knew it shaped and twisted into it's current twisted shape? By then, of course, it'll be too late to stop it. By then I'll have gained too much power. Soon, "Whatever This Is" will become required reading in all the schools. The first few Whatev Head originals will be my generals, leading my armies against all who stand against me by refusing to read the blog. It will be glorious! Magnificent! I will become a god! And all will bow before me and read my latest post! And hit the like button! And comment how sane and intelligent Master Blaise is! Yes! YES! YESSSSS!!!

And eventually someone will piece it together. And they shall despair, "If only we had read the blog from the beginning! If only we could have seen the madness coming! We should have paid attention! None of this would have happened! I wish we had read his damn blog!"

Well, perhaps it's not too late. There might still be time. They must be told. They must read the blog! It's the only way! Only then might you all be saved...