I have an itch. It's on my right cheek (on my face, to clarify). There's nothing there. No bug, no feather, no errant hair. Just a small, slightly irritating tickle. Only irritating because I refuse to respond to it, and so it persists. I refuse to scratch it, because that would be admitting that it won. I will not surrender.
It. Will. Not. Beat. Me.
And so I sit here, very conscious of an irritating tickle that has no right to reside on my face. Very conscious that I am waging war with a non sentient, non tangible even, itch. How does one go to battle against an itch?
Well, obvious answer, you could scratch it. It will then simply cease to exist. Then you've won, right? By virtue of last man standing. But, the catch is, you have actually lost in the battle of wills. The itch won. You surrendered to its power.
Second option: deny the itch its power. Simply deny the itch. Ignore it. Pretend it doesn't exist. Better yet, stare it in the face (cuz that's where it is, in this case) and whisper the words: "I deny your power". Stare it down until it shrinks to nothing.
Shit! Now there's an itch on my arm! It's bringing reinforcements! That's not fair. It's getting stronger. And now the itch on my face is gaining confidence. It's growing! It's multiplying! My foot! No. Not my foot. Please!
Ok. Get ahold of yourself, man! Get a grip! It's not even real! There's nothing there. It's all in my head. All in my head. All. In. My. Head. Deny!
Breathe.
Count to ten.
Breathe.
There. Isn't that better? That itch on your neck now isn't even real. It's just your mind playing tricks on you. It's only...
Aaaaargh!!! (Scritchy scritch scritch)
I'm sorry! I'm weak! I caved! I scratched them all! I couldn't take it any more! My face, my arm, my foot, my neck, my leg, my butt... I scratched everything! I just took a brillo pad and forcibly removed the top 3 layers of my skin. Now I'm in tremendous pain! Everywhere! But I took care of those god forsaken itches! I win! I look like I've been flayed, but I won! Victory is mine!
I think I may need some Neosporin. Preferably the anti-itch stuff. Just to be safe...
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