It's 10:50pm. I'm finally lying in my own bed. Both the kids are asleep. My honey, after falling asleep during our few minutes of adult television (we're binge watching Scrubs lately, get your mind out of the gutter), turned over, put on her nighttime snorkeling gear, and went back to sleep on the other side of our bed. Now it's just me. Whew! Another day gone.
I'm exhausted. I'm always exhausted. I don't get enough sleep. Shh! Don't tell my wife. She always rolls her eyes when I start stressing about my sleep (or lack thereof). To her credit, I am ridiculous.
10:59pm. It really took me nine minutes to write that? It's only two paragraphs! Well, to be fair, my brain is likely working at minimum capacity right now. You know; tired. *Yawn*
11:03pm. Ok. Now, that was four minutes. For a time check, four sentences, and a yawn! I can do better than this!
11:06pm. My eyes are burning. Did somebody throw salt in my eyes? Then set them on fire? And they're also doing that wiggle thing. Do your eyes do this? When I get overtired, my eyeballs start wiggling side to side in short, rapid bursts. Especially when I'm trying to visually focus on something. Like text on a screen. Or the road lit up by my headlights. It's one of the first signs I look out for to know I should pull over and ask Trish to drive. Like minor eyeball seizures. Do your eyes do this too?
11:16pm. Why am I doing this to myself? My alarm will go off at 5:30am. Bare minimum, I'm looking at about six hours of sleep tonight. My wife hates it when I do that, too (when I do the math).
11:33pm. Oops! Fell asleep for a few minutes there! I think this will have to do for now. Short blog. Night kids!
11:40pm. Huh. Well, look at that. I'm awake again. Stupid dumb! Why do I do this to myself?! I fell asleep! Why don't I just stay that way?! Is it really worth another few minutes to write down my frustration that I'm writing down my frustrations? This can't be healthy!
11:47pm. I heard on a podcast once ("Hidden Brain", I believe. Check it out; it's great!) that getting less than an average of 7 hours of sleep at night takes years off your life. People who work the night shift, who are constantly denying their bodies and brains of that sweet circadian rhythm, are more susceptible to heart disease, strokes, cancer, Alzheimers, all kinds of shitty diseases... And here I am, actually working days, with the opportunity to sleep at night like evolution intended, yet I stay up far too late to write a blog post about how I stay up far too late to write blog posts about staying up too late! Does that sentence even make sense? I can't figure out the logic. I'm too tired to discern whether I'm making any sense. Does that make any sense?! What am I doing?! GO TO SLEEP!
11:59pm. Now I'm looking at 5.5 hours of sleep, minimum. I gotta shut this down! GRRRR!
Good... fucking... night!
Well, I'm glad somebody's getting some decent shuteye around here! All you have to do is take one glance to know I have not been getting the copious amounts of beauty sleep I need to overcome my... er... deformities. But I am glad that my insanity amuses you. It has to benefit someone, for goodness sake! And thank you for commenting! Its nice to know someone is paying attention out there!
Ah.. sweet circadian rhythm... I’m allotted so much more of it during this post apocalyptic year! I don’t know how I’m going to get over having to ok set my alarm for 5am again. You crack me up! Seriously.