Beetle Encounter

I had a conversation with a beetle tonight. I found it on the towel I grabbed from the... towel holder... thing. Whatever it's called (Yes, I'm aware that I have the internet at my disposal, and I can simply research the word I'm unable to conjure forth, but it wouldn't exactly have that atypical Jamie Blaise flair, would it? [Wait, I have a flair?] No. Instead I get to use not just one, but two ellipses! And you know how much I love ellipses!)

Ok, I was talking about talking to a beetle. I got sidetracked (some more of that flair everyone keeps talking about). The conversation was, unfortunately, very one-sided.

---

"Oh! Hey there, buddy! Where did you come from?"

-- no response from the addressed beetle.

"Not very talkative today, huh?"

-- flat stare.

"I get it. I feel like that sometimes too."

-- it turned around to face the wall.

"Listen, when I dry off after my shower, this towel isn't going to be a safe place to hang. Probably not safe for either of us, come to think of it. You're likely to be upset about getting rubbed against my bare cheeks, and then you might bite my ass. And who could blame ya? I wouldn't want to hang out down there for any length of time, either!"

-- "I've lost my appetite," the beetle did not say, because it was a beetle. Beetles don't talk in this story.

"So I'm going to bring you over to the garbage can, and you can hang out there instead. That way neither of us have an embarrassing mishap."

-- it fell gracelessly into the garbage can, bouncing off a discarded item or two before disappearing.

"Oh, dear. That felt pretty harsh... Was that an insult? Throwing you into the garbage can? Although, most people would have squashed you. I might be considered rude, but at least I'm not a monster. I apologize, nonetheless. Any insult was purely unintentional."

-- no voice came from the garbage can, because garbage cans don't talk.

"Good chat. Have a nice life!"

---

And so ended my brief encounter with a talking bug.

Wait, what? What do I mean, a talking bug?

All bugs can talk, silly. This particular bug was just very shy, that's all. I never said it couldn't talk.