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Writer's pictureJamie Blaise

Earth

In the Omnipedia entry for the planet Earth, you'll find a version containing several sections that are organized in a chronological order, starting with the creation of Earth (shortly after the Big Bang)

and ending with the destruction of Earth (immediately after the Lesser [but still very large] Bang).



There are a fair amount of bits in between that you may find of particular interest, such as the era of the dinosaurs (always popular with the kids),

the era of mankind (somewhat interesting read for a small handful of multiversal astrobiologists),

and the era of desolation

(Not very interesting at all. Not much going on, in fact, for a few million years before the Lesser Bang turns Earth into a dust cloud and a scattering of comets, asteroids, and meteors).


You'll also find a version in the Omnipedia that is organized by its inhabitants in order of intelligence, from the superior intellect of the octopus, all the way down through to single celled organisms. Humans are placed somewhere between viruses and bacteria, though there is much controversy in the universe as to whether the three should belong to different categories at all.


The octopuses of planet Earth are also the subject of much debate.

Though they resided on the planet for millenia, their origin story lies in another universe. So to categorize them, in some opinions, as Earth creatures may be somewhat inaccurate. Though they did rule the world, they were not of the world, and so should be set apart. Much like the platypus.



The duck billed platypus did not hold much power during its stay on planet Earth, but it did play an important role as counterpoint to the octopus. Mortal enemies, they kept each other in check to some degree, though the octopus did retain its status as supreme being. In the grand scheme of things, the platypus' purpose in life was more or less to provide the octopuses something to sneer at, as humans were largely far beneath either of their notice.


And finally, you'll find a version written by those humans claiming to be generally the only sign of intelligent life anywhere,

and straining to find and manipulate data to back that up. The Omnipedia had decided to allow the entry to remain, despite its major flaws (such as an overinflated sense of importance in the universe, and an almost entirely complete ignorance of the existence of the multiverse), largely because the editors found the whole thing quite amusing and pitiful, and didn't have the heart to disabuse the human race of their strange silly notions about their significance among the stars.


The Earth is only a small planet in a tiny solar system in a vast universe in the unfathomably gigantic multiverse, and is hardly even deserving of a footnote in the Omnipedia's entry concerning intelligent life in the multiverse. The only reason it is mentioned here at all is because it happens be the birthplace of Sizzle Blaze (a.k.a. Jamie Blaise). Sizzle is arguably one of the most influential beings in the multiverse in terms of determining the course of multiversal history*.





*See BLAZE, SIZZLE for more information on his significance in the multiverse

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