I love writing. I've enjoyed writing this blog for the last few years. I especially enjoyed the weird Chronicles of Sizzle thing I was...

Welcome back to the Annual Birthday Wish Awards! 2023 is not only the year I turn 42 again, but it's also the year that immediately...

I understand that this account may be largely... discounted. I'm actually fine with that. I know the truth of it, and the octopuses do too.

And now, here I was. With this impossible choice to make. Either way, it was the end for me.

YOU ARE AT THE CENTER OF ALL OF THIS, SIZZLE, WELL-INTENTIONED OR NOT. IF NOT FOR YOU, WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS PREDICAMENT...

I KNOW. THIS IS A LOT TO DIGEST IN ONE SITTING. BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW.      YOU ARE AWARE OF YOUR OWN INFINITE DIMENSIONS. YOU ARE...

THERE ARE SIGNS, IF YOU KNOW HOW TO SEE THEM, IN TIME ITSELF. TIME SEEMS TO FOLD IN ON ITSELF MORE AND MORE FREQUENTLY THE NEARER I GET...

My name is Schneez! Very good. Wait, did you say sneeze? No, Schneez, with a shhh. Oh, ok Snotrocket, this is how this is going to work...

I am here because you have a lot to answer for! Gather the Sages! YOU DO NOT HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO- I know all about your devious plan!

Crap. How are we supposed to convince Supreme and the Sages to knock it off if we can't contact them now? How did you do it last time?...

So... you're saying the octopuses want to take over the planet? Bingo.

There was a kind of gurgling noise suddenly. Like a child blowing bubbles into their chocolate milk with a straw while humming. HEAR ME.

She points me to a fancy reclining chair with leg and head rests. My blood runs cold. This is the chair where happy thoughts come to die.

I'm not even entirely sure if I'm doing the right thing in telling you. He did say I shouldn't tell anyone. But... I have to.

The Earth is only a small planet in a tiny solar system in a vast universe in the unfathomably gigantic multiverse...