Tell Me a Bedtime Story, Daddy

Ever since my kids were old enough to appreciate a plot twist, I've been telling them bedtime stories. I started out reading their favorite books, like "Green Eggs & Ham" and "The Giving Tree". Also among the favorites was "Silly Sally" - Silly Sally went to town, walking backwards, upside down. And Grover's "The Monster at the End of This Book" was sure to please (especially when done with the voices). The Sequel featured Elmo, too.

After a while, I began to improvise. I would inevitably begin with the predictable "Once upon a time..." and then we were off to exciting adventures with characters they could relate to, likely because they themselves were often cast in major roles.

For Ayla's stories, a common thread for a while was a female character that would always run into a problem. A situation. A predicament. A conundrum (after a while, she would start to tell me there was a conundrum if I hadn't said it yet). During the adventure, she would seek help from the witch doctor who would sing "oooh eee, ooh ah ahh, ting tang, walla walla bang bang" before sending her off to another part of the quest. She'd also consult the jungle lion, who'd sing "ooh oooh oooooh ooh um um um away". And Doctor Dolittle, when sought for advice, would offer up "aweemaweh, aweemaweh, aweemaweh, aweemaweh, aweemaweh, aweemaweh". By the end, of course, she would solve her problem, rescue some unfortunate victim, and save the day.

Keegan's stories also had recurring characters. Super Keegan was the hero. Super Bad Guy was the troublemaker. Super Ayla would often make an appearance to help out. Blue Doggy (Keegan's favorite stuffie since birth) was also a regular in the stories. Super Bad Guy was often robbing a bank or vandalizing their elementary school in some way. Super Keegan would catch him after a exciting chase, they'd do battle, and he'd be brought to jail for justice. For a short while, Super Bad Guy even became Super Good Guy, fighting crime right alongside Super Keegan. Ultimately though, he couldn't repress his more devious nature, and returned to his selfish and destructive ways.

As the kids got older, I began getting their input for bedtime stories. I'd start with the tried and true "Once upon a time..." and then they would describe the main character of the story. From there, I'd have them fill in the blanks in a Mad Libs storytelling style that gave them some ownership of the narration. They were often quite creative, and the stories would go in very unforeseen directions. They enjoyed being given the wheel to some extent, and I enjoyed seeing where they'd take us! This tradition, though not quite as consistent as it used to be, still continues to this day.

I've decided I'm going to use this "Once Upon a Time" tab to begin sharing some of the strange adventures the kids take us on at bedtime. For Ayla's fill in the blanks input, I will utilize bold type. For Keegan, I will underline his fill in the blanks. After a few stories, you may start to get a feel for each of their flavors. I hope this is something that you Whatev Heads will enjoy. As always, feel free to only pretend that you like what I'm doing here. My feelings won't get hurt if I don't know that, in reality, you hate this stuff and could care less whether I get hit by an ice cream truck, putting an end to these cursed blog entries. But, as I've mentioned in another post, if you've gotten this far, then you're just twisted (or bored) enough to tolerate my ramblings. So, I suppose I could at some point cut the crap with the whole "I suck and nobody likes me" routine. If you're reading this, it's interesting to you. If you're not reading this, then you didn't just read that sentence. Or that one. Or any of them. So, for now on, I guess I can just assume that this is a worthwhile project. At least for a couple of people, anyway. To you true Whatev Heads, I give my thanks and appreciation. You've hung in there. I hope I get better and better at this. Maybe someday I'll get a dozen members in here! Just think of the fame! The glory! The riches! The carpal tunnel syndrome from typing on my small smart phone keyboard! I'll need those riches to pay for the surgeries!

So, I've recorded a bedtime story. After transferring the audio to text, I'll have the first actual bedtime story ready for you to read. I'll keep the recordings somewhere, too. Those might be a fun "Extras" tab, if I can figure out how to make that work. I'm sure it's do-able.

I hope you enjoy these as much as the kids and I do. And maybe I'll inspire some parents out there to try their hand at it, too. It's fun!

Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite...