Wow... it's been another year. My, how the time does fly. Since my last birthday, I've started a new position at work in a new department, which has been a challenge and a blast. I've also gone out of my comfort zone and participated in a full day's writer's festival, which was both magical and extremely rewarding. And more recently, I've begun playing D&D again with some new friends and old. This is something that I very much enjoy, and it has not only inspired a new miniature figurine painting hobby, but it has also rejuvenated my novel writing.
Anyway, enough about me. I want to address the reason for this post: The 2025 Annual Birthday Wish Awards! Which, of course, is entirely about me!
The first award goes out to the first person to wish me a happy birthday this year: Ilene Pickering.
Aunt Ilene, you have won the First Wish Award! Congratulations. Unfortunately, there are no cash prizes, your award is knowing you got to me first. Well done, early bird! You get the worm!
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The next award is similar, but specialized. Cyd, congratulations! You're the first person from work to wish me a happy birthday!
Getting up at the crack of 2am is finally paying off! Not with money, of course, but with prestige amongst our coworkers. You were the first! Make sure you let everyone know of your achievement here today!
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Next up is another Aunt, otherwise known as Uncle Jan. Although I've never actually heard you sing, you're the only one who sings to me on my birthday using emojis.
You did it!
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Mom, you are the only one who expressed their love for me on Facebook today. For that, you get my love in return, through a Birthday Wish Award!
Despite your complete lack of punctuation, your message was still received loud and clear. I love you too, mom!
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Alicia, you brought the puns. You know they're my bread and butter! And so was your birthday wish!
Cheers!
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Megan, I steal your memes all the time. You are one of my most trusted sources for the dankest of memes in my feed.
Therefore, your Birthday Wish Award will be delivered via meme.
Keep up the good work supplying my memes for me!
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Now, Sarah... she yells at me for my birthday. And while some might argue that this is impolite, especially on their birthday, I would argue that it's at least a novel approach.
No one else yells at me on my birthday like Sarah does. Thank you, Sarah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Aunt Kerry had her octopus friend deliver her birthday wish to me this year! She knows how much I love our aliens of the ocean.
I do wonder what the extra "P" is for though. (I'm sure there's a good terrible joke in answer to that question, but I'll leave it at that for now.)
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Trevor, at my age, no one looks at me like this any more.
I gotta tell ya... You gave me shivers. I'll be keeping this image handy.
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Kristina, you were the 42nd person to wish me a happy birthday.
That's the magic number, y'all! I'm 42 again (don't do the math), and you've won the sweepstakes! A free ticket to the Annual Birthday Wish Awards Ceremonies!
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So here we are, another Annual Birthday Wish Awards coming to a close, another 5 minutes of your lives wasted with nothing but nonsense. It's included with your ABWA gift bag! It's just like the one they give to celebrities at the Oscars, only this one's imaginary. And terrible. Congratulations! Just another wonderful prize from yours truly, a 42 year old geek with little-to-no adult supervision (again, put that calculator away).
I thank you all for participating, despite the hypocrisy of this whole thing every year. Speaking of which, I want to publicly acknowledge that I realize that I never return the favor. I don't wish people happy birthday. I think birthdays are silly for anyone over the age of 21. That is why I treat my own with mockery every year (while at the same time trying to say thank you to those who express their love and friendship to me). Clearly, my parents never taught me how to properly behave in society (sorry mom and dad, but the proof is in the pudding). That being said, I love and appreciate you all every day. Here's a blanket happy birthday for everyone to last the whole year:
Happy Birthday!
This concludes the 2025 Annual Birthday Wish Awards. Good luck to everyone next year!
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