Top Ten Reasons I Have a Blog

Continuing my new Top Ten series, I thought it would make sense to explore why I'm doing this in the first place. So why do write this blog?

#10. All the cool kids are doing it.

#9. I'm far too ugly to have a Vlog.

#8. My thoughts turn to snot if I don't get them out in time.

#7. To feed my narcissism, obviously.

#6. My head is only 10% of the size it could be (Like, subscribe, and comment!).

#5. It makes my children think I'm something special.

#4. I have no other hobbies.

#3. It beats picking my nose.

#2. Why the hell not?

#1. Do I really need a reason to do any of this? I mean, have you read my blog? I don't exactly follow any sort of logical pattern. I do what I do, when I do it, because the voices in my head tell me to do the dishes and I don't really wanna do the dishes. Or those voices are telling me I should go to sleep, I'm only going to get 5 hours now as it is, I have to work in the morning, and it wouldn't be pleasant if I fell asleep at my workstation and got eaten by the press. Or the voices are all yelling at each other to stop telling me what to do because each individual voice obviously has the right advice to give, threats to make, ADHD observation to distract, pointless random babble to offer, or otherwise entirely incoherent muttering that is seemingly unaware of my existence at all. (How does that work? How can my own thoughts be ignorant of its host: ME? Perhaps much like I am essentially unaware of my own creator? Wait... does that mean I'm a god? Do I have a universe within my synapses that exists with self-aware entities that are not always aware of me? I think this may have to be explored in another bloggy!)

...but I digress.