I'm married to an incredibly capable woman who is a constant reminder of how malfunctioned I am. Without her, honestly, very little would get done.
Don't get me wrong, I wash plenty of dishes. I do lots of laundry (and even fold clothes). I cook most of our dinners. And I don't mind cleaning up the toilet after a certain ten year old pees like a storm trooper shoots (he misses a lot, for those of you who are not Star Wars fans).
What I'm talking about is things like setting up the dentist appointments for the kids, and getting them excused from school for the necessary time, and figuring out the new dental insurance and stuff.
None of that would happen if I were a single dad. My kids' teeth would rot out of their heads before I remembered to get them to the dentist. But when I finally get appointments for them, the school would call asking where they are today, and I would have to apologize and let them know that they are at the dentist today. Then I'd have to call the dentist to reschedule anyway, because we missed the appointment while I inevitably failed to get them out of the house on time. We got distracted, you see. Or, rather, I did. It's not my fault! I forgot to set my alarm to go. Also, for some reason, I thought the appointment was at 11:00, while they were actually supposed to be there at 10:00.
This is not a far-fetched scenario.
My wife, simply put, has her shit together. I... write blogs.
Speaking of which, here's a Top Ten list of reasons that took me so long. "That" being whatever it was I was supposed to get done before the end of the century.
10. I started sweeping the living room, but then noticed all the scattered hay near the guinea pigs' cage in the dining room. So I took care of that while I had the broom out.
9. Which led to sweeping the hall.
8. Then I hit the bathroom.
7. But I had to shake out the bathroom mats first before I could sweep the floor.
6. But that pushed all that new dirt back into the hall, so I had to sweep that again.
5. While in the hall, I saw Ayla's door was open, and there were dust bunnies up to the ankles in there. So I swept her room while I was at it.
4. If I was going to sweep her room, I might as well get the other bedrooms too.
3. All of that got swept out to the hall. Again. So I had to push this new pile all the way down the hall and into the kitchen.
2. I'd swept everywhere except the kitchen. I couldn't just not sweep the kitchen now...
1. The garbage was too full to toss the pile of dirt and dust bunnies in without making another mess, so I took the garbage out and put in a fresh new bag.
And that's why it took me so long to pick up that bag of Skittles that spilled in the living room.
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