I've been writing a fantasy novel about magic and monsters for the last few months. I've written 70,000 words, which is roughly around 300 pages. This is in the neighborhood of the Lord of the Flies, 1984, the first Harry Potter, War of the Worlds, the first Dark Tower book, the Hobbit, or Ender's Game.
I keep doing that. I keep looking to compare the length to other books I've read. The problem is, I haven't finished mine yet. I've hit a snag. I've heard that the hardest part to write is the middle. That's where I'm at. I've stalled. I know (sort of) where I need to go from here, but I'm kind of bored with this part of it. Which is not a good sign. If I'm bored, then the reader will definitely get bored. I need to find a way to change things up somehow.
Also, another reason I've come to a standstill is this whole time I've been writing it, I was working 11am to 11pm shifts. I'd get home from the factory to a quiet house, shower, climb into bed, and write for an hour or two. Or three. Or four. No distractions other than the ones I create for myself. Then I'd sleep until I had to get up for work the next day. The house was empty when I got up in the morning for half of my work days, everyone being off to school or work. I got into a pretty good rhythm. I was getting a chapter or two written every week. But I've come to a standstill. I returned to the day shift for a better position. I'm far happier at work now. But... I'm back to getting up before dawn, trudging to work in a haze, and coming home to a house alive with my family. That part is great! I've missed my family. The 12 hour weekend shift took me away from them for most of the week. It's nice to be able to do things with the family again. Especially on the weekends. But... I haven't written more than a few paragraphs since.
That makes me sad. I love my family. I want to be part of their lives. But my biggest personal passion in life lately has been writing. And now I don't know how to find the quiet time necessary to write without feeling like I'm ditching my wife and kids to do it. I want both!
For Whatever This Is, I feel I've been inching to a more "getting real" vibe lately. Continuing on that path, I need to disclose a neurodevelopmental disorder (that's a five dollar word, isn't it?) that I have. I'm ADHD as all hell. I can't focus with anything gong on around me. I may have already divulged this a time or two (I also have some severe short-term and long-term memory issues). But this is how it connects to my current conundrum (wasn't that some fun alliteration?). I can't write with the TV on. I can't write with interruptions. I can't write if I have other responsibilities. I can't write if I hear voices other than the characters in my head. So, basically, I can't write around my family. This makes me so sad. I love my family, and I love writing. I want both in my life! But I don't know how.
My favorite author, Brandon Sanderson, said he has set aside blocks of time during the day when "daddy's working". It's a time when he'll go into his office, close the door, and no one will enter unless something dire has happened. That's great! But that won't work for me for a couple of reasons.
1. I live with my wife and two kids in a 1,000ft² rented three bedroom home with zero square footage that can be dedicated to office space. I don't have a quiet place to write without leaving the house.
2. There's just not enough hours in the day. I work 8-12 hours a day during the week. When I come home, I need to shower the factory off my body, then it's dinnertime. After dinner there's the kids' homework, housework, and a minute or two to relax with the family before bed. Then I get up and do it all over again. I average 6.5 hours of sleep at night. I would like to get an hour more, but I don't know where to squeeze that in. I'd have to sacrifice family, work, or writing to do it. Inevitably, sleep loses that battle. That probably doesn't help my already taxed mental faculties.
I'll figure it out. Or I won't. I rather hope I do though. I love this story I've begun. I love my characters. I'm very proud of the words I've written so far. I don't want to see all that go to waste. I want to finish it. And I will. I just need to find a way. I need to stop complaining and finding roadblocks, and figure out a way to give myself the time and space to start writing again. I'm writing this, aren't I? I could be writing in my book right now, before I get out of bed on a Sunday morning. But instead I'm using this time to whine about how I don't have time to write. Oh... I see the irony now. Ha ha. Except, I can't lie in bed anymore this morning. I hear someone stomping around outside my bedroom, so someone is most definitely up. And I have had to pee for half an hour now.
Maybe I'll get some quiet time later today. We'll see.
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