I KNOW. THIS IS A LOT TO DIGEST IN ONE SITTING. BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW.
YOU ARE AWARE OF YOUR OWN INFINITE DIMENSIONS. YOU ARE SPEAKING TO ME THROUGH EVEN MORE LAYERS OF REALITY. AND TIME WARPS AROUND YOU.
MR. SIZZLE...
Just Sizzle. Please.
OK, THEN. SIZZLE... YOU ARE THE ORIGIN OF TIME.
And what does that mean?
IT MEANS THAT MY SEARCH IS FINALLY AT AN END.
Ok. Even if what you say is true (and I'm not yet willing to entertain that bizarre idea), what would that mean? What was your plan if and when you actually found the Origin of Time?
WHEN I FOUND THE ORIGIN OF TIME, I WAS TO DESTROY IT.
Wait! Destroy it?! Why?!
YOU ARE DISTORTING TIME. TIME CANNOT WITHSTAND THIS ABUSE FOR LONG. THE SIGNS OF DEGRADATION CAN ALREADY BE SEEN. SOON, EXISTENCE WILL COMPLETELY UNRAVEL, IF YOU ARE NOT DESTROYED. IT HAS ALREADY BEGUN.
But wait! I'm not trying to destroy anything! I'm not the Origin of Time! I can't be! I'm just me! Just a human being!
...WHO CAN PHASE THROUGH THE CURTAINS OF REALITY...
That doesn't mean anything!
IT IS MOST UNFORTUNATE. I DO BELIEVE YOU ARE ACTING WITHOUT MALICE. HOWEVER, THAT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE DESTROYING REALITY. THEREFORE, YOU MUST BE DESTROYED BEFORE THAT CAN HAPPEN. YOUR VERY EXISTENCE IS A THREAT TO EVERY SINGLE LIVING BEING IN THE OMNIVERSE. EVERY ORGANISM. EVERYTHING!
I'M SORRY, SIZZLE. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS NOT PERSONAL. BE COMFORTED IN KNOWING THAT YOUR DESTRUCTION WILL, IN FACT, SAVE THE ENTIRE OMNIVERSE.
But... I'm sure there is an alternate solution! My life is important to me too!
YOU HAVE MY SYMPATHIES. THIS IS NOT AN ETHICAL CHOICE THAT COMES EASILY.
Choice! Choice? What choice have I been given? What choice am I making?
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CONFUSION. IT IS MY CHOICE TO MAKE; YOU DO NOT HAVE A SAY IN THIS MATTER.
I don't have a say in this matter... it's my life, and I don't get to choose. Isn't that just peachy...
YOU HAVE MY CONDOLENCES, SIZZLE.
Well, you do not have my permission, SHE.
I... I AM NOT ASKING YOUR PERMISSION, SIZZLE. THIS IS SIMPLY THE WAY IT MUST BE. WE ALL MAKE OUR SACRIFICES.
It's not a sacrifice on my part if I don't go along willingly. This is coercion, and I do not submit.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU DO NOT HAVE-
It is you who does not understand. I will not be your "sacrifice".
AGAIN, THIS IS REGRETTABLE. BUT WHAT MUST BE, MUST BE. GOODBYE, SIZZLE.
I suddenly felt a tremendous pressure in my head, and my brain was instantly on fire. I immediately shifted. I went to a dimension where SHE was not attacking me.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CONFUSION. IT IS MY CHOICE TO MAKE; YOU DO NOT HAVE A SAY IN THIS MATTER.
That sounds familiar. I believe you've said that before.
NO! YOU MUST BE DESTROYED! IT'S THE ONLY WAY!
The pressure returned, and I shifted again.
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE CONFUSION. IT IS MY CHOICE TO MAKE; YOU DO NOT HAVE A SAY IN-
STOP THIS! YOU WILL DESTROY ALL LIFE IF YOU CONTINUE TO RESIST!
*shift*
I APOLOGIZE FOR THE- NO! STOP-
*shift*
I APOLO-
Listen. We could do this for infinity. You cannot put a leash on me.
Pressure.
*shift*
Pressure.
*shift*
This time, I immediately went on the offensive with my own squeeze.
NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! YOU'LL DESTROY EVERYTHING! AAAARCK!
I don't want to hurt you, SHE! I know that you think you're doing this for the right reasons, but there are other solutions! Stop fighting me!
AAAARCK!
I squeezed a little harder.
Let it go, SHE!
NOOOO!
I gave the squeeze a little twist, without quite knowing what it was that I was doing.
UMPH!
The resistance gave way completely.
Uh oh...
SHE?
RRRR... NNNNG...BUHHH...
Ah, crap.
SHE. Listen. I'm sorry. I didn't want to fight you.
GUHHH...
Aw, man...
I LEAVE YOU FOR A FEW MINUTES, AND YOU START BEATING UP EVERY ALIEN IN YOUR HEAD? REALLY, JAMIE BLAISE... YOU SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE CAREFUL.
Octomus! Oh, good! You're ok!
I AM OK, JAMIE BLAISE. THANKS TO YOU.
They think I'm going to destroy the omniverse!
WELL, THAT IS A BIT SILLY. YOU HAVE SAVED THE EARTH AND ALL OF ITS INHABITANTS. WHY WOULD YOU NOW WANT TO DESTROY EVERYTHING ELSE?
I don't!
I KNOW THIS, JAMIE BLAISE. I WAS ATTEMPTING TO MAKE A... NEVER MIND. NOT THE RIGHT TIME, I SUPPOSE. HOW CAN I HELP?
Help me revive SHE, and help me talk some sense into her.
OK. WELL, YOU KNOW THE OCTOPUS MIND BUZZ?
Yeah?
THE MIND BUZZ, INSIDE-OUT, CAN HEAL IN SOME CASES.
Inside-out? How do you... never mind. You do it, and I'll try to duplicate it. Maybe try it on me first? So I can feel it?
SURE.
Suddenly, my head felt like... flowers. I don't know how else to describe it. Sweet, aromatic, light, soft... like flowers.
I tried to return the favor.
CLOSE. BUT TRY TO BROADEN YOUR FOCUS... YES. THAT IS BETTER. VERY GOOD, JAMIE BLAISE! YOU LEARN SO QUICKLY!
Ok. Let's try that on SHE.
SHE immediately started to come back around.
YOU... YOU HEALED ME...
I told you. I don't want to fight you. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt anyone.
BUT YOU... YOU NEED TO BE DESTROYED... BEFORE YOU DESTROY EVERYTHING...
I have no intention of destroying anything. Let alone everything.
Please, let's just talk about this. We can figure this out. You said I am the first human being to be able to make contact with you, so... let's talk.
I MUST ADMIT, I DON'T SEEM TO HAVE MUCH CHOICE IN THE MATTER. YOU HAVE BEATEN ME.
Let's reframe that. I have shown you that I'm stronger than you, but I have also shown you mercy. And you always have a choice in every situation. It's just a matter of weighing the consequences.
YOU ARE WISE AS WELL AS STRONG, SIZZLE. I AM HUMBLED.
SO, WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?
MIGHT I MAKE A SUGGESTION?
Perhaps introductions are in order. SHE... meet Octomus, Supreme of Earth's octopuses. Octomus Supreme, meet Superior High Embassador.
JAMIE BLAISE, WE STILL NEED TO DISCUSS THIS WHOLE "SUPREME" BUSINESS...
AND MY NAME IS NOT ACTUALLY "SHE". THAT IS ONLY MY TITLE. YOU MAY CALL ME ZERSCHNA.
THIS IS A REMARKABLE ASSEMBLY! OCTIMUS SUPREME SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO CONVERSE WITH MY KIND EITHER. WE HAVE ALWAYS BEEN BEHIND THE OMNIVERSE CURTAIN FOR BOTH OF YOUR RACES. THE ORIGIN OF TIME IS VERY INFLUENTIAL, INDEED. THIS CROSS DIMENSIONAL MEETING IS QUITE EXCEPTIONAL.
I don't know about all this Origin of Time business, but I do agree that this is a momentous experience. I would hope that this is a good thing. I would like to think that we three can all learn from each other, and make all of our lives better.
JAMIE BLAISE HAS UNDOUBTEDLY SAVED OUR PLANET FROM CERTAIN DESTRUCTION FROM MY PREVIOUS LEADER. IN THAT, ALONE, MEETING JAMIE BLAISE HAS BEEN A PHENOMENALLY FORTUNATE THING. BUT HE HAS ALSO SAVED ME, ON A PERSONAL LEVEL. I AM FOREVER CHANGED FROM MY RENDEZVOUS WITH JAMIE BLAISE WHEN HE FOUND ME AT THE AQUARIUM. I WILL BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOR OUR MUTUAL DISCOVERY.
Octomus! I've never heard you talk like this! Honestly, when we first met, I didn't think you liked me.
THAT IS BECAUSE I DID NOT LIKE YOU WHEN WE FIRST MET, JAMIE BLAISE.
Oh...
ANOTHER THING THAT JAMIE BLAISE HAS GIVEN ME IS A SENSE OF HUMOR.
Oh, ho! You got me, Octomus! Haha... good one...
YOU TWO ARE VERY STRANGE BEINGS. I'M NOT CONVINCED THAT YOU SHOULD NOT BE DESTROYED, JAMIE BLAISE.
Please, you two! It's Sizzle! How can I be a superhero if I don't have a cool name? Please! Call me Sizzle!
I sensed confusion from Zerschna, and an eye roll from Octomus.
Ok, Let me get this straight. You think that I am the Origin of Time, somehow, even though I'm only 42 years old, while time is... infinite.
YES. YOU ARE THE ORIGIN OF TIME. AND YOU ARE DISTORTING EVERYTHING AROUND YOU. INCLUDING TIME, ITSELF. YOU ARE CAUSING REALITY, IN ALL ITS FORMS, TO DETERIORATE.
How can you determine that? How do you know that reality is falling apart?
THE SIGNS, JA- SIZZLE. THE VERY FACT THAT WE ARE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION IS PROOF THAT THE BOUNDARIES BETWEEN REALITIES ARE COLLAPSING.
MIGHT I INTERJECT?
What's up, Supreme?
Another eye roll.
THE FACT THAT WE ARE ALL ABLE TO SPEAK TO EACH OTHER AND SHARE IDEAS SEEMS RATHER BENEFICIAL TO ME. HOW CAN THIS BE A TERRIBLE THING?
YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE AWARE OF MY EXISTENCE! MY REALITY AND YOUR REALITY DO NOT INTERMINGLE! THE BOUNDARIES ARE COLLAPSING!
But we can take advantage of this! This doesn't seem like a doom and gloom scenario to me. We can use this current reality to put our minds together to find a solution.
SUCH AS?
MIGHT I INTERJECT ONCE MORE?
Sure, Octomus. What's up?
THERE IS A LEGEND AMONG MY PEOPLE. OUR CREATORS LIVED AND PROSPERED FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS. SLOWLY, THEY BEGAN TO NOTICE THAT INFINITY WAS STRETCHING OUT EXISTENCE, THINNING IT. THEY WERE DYING OUT. THE IMMORTAL CREATORS FOUND MORTALITY.
EXISTENCE WAS STRUGGLING TO SUSTAIN LIFE. OUR CREATORS, IN THEIR SUPREME WISDOM, ATTEMPTED TO CREATE A NEW PLANE OF EXISTENCE. ONE THAT COULD AGAIN SUSTAIN LIFE. AT LEAST UNTIL INFINITY STRETCHED THAT PLANE OUT AS WELL. BUT THEY HOPED TO EVENTUALLY DISCOVER A WAY TO STOP INFINITY. AND FOR A TIME, THEY DID JUST THAT. OR SO IT SEEMED.
Stop infinity? I'm having trouble wrapping my head around that.
THAT IS NO WONDER, MY FRIEND SIZZLE. IT IS A PARADOX. AN UNSOLVABLE PUZZLE. AN IMPOSSIBILITY.
THE CREATORS COULD NOT STOP INFINITY. THEY COULD ONLY DELAY THE INEVITABLE, BY OPENING NEW PLANES OF EXISTENCE WHEN THE PREVIOUS ONE INEVITABLY THINNED OUT TO THE POINT OF UNINHABITABILITY.
That is one hell of a word, by the way...
YES. WELL. THANK YOU.
MILLIONS AND BILLIONS OF YEARS SPANNED ACROSS TIME. THEN THE THINNING WOULD START TO BECOME NOTICEABLE. THE CREATORS WOULD AGAIN BEGIN DYING OFF. SO THEY WOULD CREATE ANOTHER NEW UNIVERSE. THEN PASSED ANOTHER UNFATHOMABLE SPAN OF TIME. AND ANOTHER UNIVERSE. FOR NEARLY THE ENTIRE SPAN OF INFINITY, THEY BELIEVED THEY HAD SOLVED THE RIDDLE. BUT THE CREATORS EVENTUALLY BEGAN TO UNDERSTAND THAT THEY WERE LOSING THIS BATTLE WITH INFINITY. WITH EACH THINNING, THEIR POPULATION THINNED AS WELL. THEY WERE RUNNING OUT OF TIME, ONCE AGAIN.
I think Einstein was quoted as saying "The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
PERHAPS THE CREATORS WERE INSANE. FOR NEARLY INFINITY. BUT EVENTUALLY THEY DID TIRE OF THE SAME RESULTS. THEY CHANGED TACTICS. THEY CREATED NOT JUST A NEW UNIVERSE THIS TIME. BUT THEY FOUND A WAY TO CREATE NEW LIFE. NOT IN THE LIKENESS OF THE CREATORS, BUT CONTAINING THEIR ESSENCE. THEY FORGED NEW BEINGS, THE OCTOPUSES. EACH COMBINED WITH WHAT IS SAID TO BE A PORTION OF THE CREATORS' SOULS, AND WHATEVER MAGIC THEY USED TO FABRICATE NEW UNIVERSES, THE CREATORS CREATED THE OMNIVERSE; THE MULTIVERSES OF MULTIVERSES. WE, THE OCTOPUSES, WOULD BE THE CARETAKERS OF THIS OMNIVERSE. CULTIVATING AND GROWING, AND LEARNING. THE ULTIMATE RESPONSIBILITY OF SOLVING INFINITY WAS TO BE PLACED ON THESE NEW BEINGS. FOR AS THE CREATORS BROUGHT THE OCTOPUSES INTO EXISTENCE, SO ENDED THE LONG LIFE OF THE CREATORS. THEY WINKED OUT OF EXISTENCE FOREVER, FINALLY LOSING THE WAR WITH THE EVERLASTING PATIENCE OF INFINITY.
The "everlasting patience of infinity"... isn't that a Plink Foyd song?
I HAVE NOT THE SLIGHTEST IDEA ABOUT WHAT YOU ASK, BUT I GET THE FEELING YOU ARE JUST BEING SILLY WHEN I AM TRYING TO TELL YOU OF MY ROOTS, WITH THE PURPOSE OF POSSIBLY SOLVING OUR OWN RIDDLE.
Sorry, Octomus. Sometimes I struggle staying serious in serious situations. Please, continue.
I felt, in my mind, that he was now "looking" at me, side-eye. But then the thought crossed my mind that octopuses are always giving the side-eye due to the layout of their faces. I tried not to giggle.
...FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS MY RACE SPREAD AMONGST THE STARS, BUT WERE SECLUDED TO THIS ONE PLANE OF EXISTENCE. FOR THE CREATORS DID NOT BESTOW UPON THEIR OCTOPUS CHILDREN THE SECRETS OF UNIVERSE CREATION. BASED UPON OUR LEGENDS, WE HAVE ALWAYS GUESSED AT THE EXISTENCE OF THE OVERWORLD, THE REALMS OF THE CREATORS. BUT SADLY THEY NEVER LEARNED HOW TO ACCESS THEM. MILLIONS HAD TRIED, ALL HAD FAILED. SOME TRIED (AND FAILED) TO DEVELOP A WAY TO AT LEAST SEE INTO THE OVERWORLD. TO FIND VISUAL REMNANTS OF OUR CREATORS' HANDIWORK. SOME HAVE TRIED TO DRAW THESE OTHER REALMS HERE TO OUR OWN UNIVERSE. YOU HAVE HEARD OF BLACK HOLES, I PRESUME? THESE WERE THE RESULT OF MORE FAILED ATTEMPTS AT FINDING THE OVERWORLD. SOME SAY THAT OUR ABILITY TO COMMUNICATE WITH EACH OTHER NONVERBALLY WAS EVIDENCE OF ANOTHER BOTCHED ATTEMPT, BUT WITH SOME POSITIVE ACCIDENTAL BENEFIT.
Wait, black holes? That was you guys?
YES. AND THEY NEARLY DESTROYED THE UNIVERSE. BUT THAT IS ANOTHER TALE ALTOGETHER.
I DON'T SEE WHAT ANY OF THIS HAS TO DO WITH THE ORIGIN OF TIME, OCTOMUS PRIME.
I AM GETTING TO THAT.
IT IS BELIEVED BY SOME THAT OUR ANCESTORS AT ONE POINT ASKED FOR VOLUNTEERS FOR AN EXPERIMENT. THE GOAL WAS TO TRANSFORM THESE BRAVE PEOPLE INTO A CHANNEL BETWEEN REALMS. THEY WOULD BECOME A CONDUIT. OR SO THAT WAS THE HOPE. ALAS, THE EXPERIMENTS WERE A FAILURE, AND THOSE BRAVE SOULS WERE NEVER SEEN AGAIN.
THERE ARE SOME, HOWEVER, WHO BELIEVE THAT THE ENDEAVOR WAS NOT A COMPLETE FAILURE. THESE PEOPLE, MILLIONS OF YEARS AGO, BRANCHED OFF FROM THE ONE RELIGION AND FORMED A NEW SECT, THE "RETURN". THEIR RELIGION WAS BASED UPON THE IDEA THAT THE CONDUITS WOULD SOMEHOW, SOMEDAY, RETURN TO US AND LEAD US BACK TO THE REALM OF THE CREATORS.
SIZZLE... YOU CAN PASS BETWEEN REALMS. YOU CAN COMMUNICATE WITH MY PEOPLE USING OUR METHOD OF "SENDING" THOUGHTS TO ONE ANOTHER. YOU CAN EVEN COMMUNICATE WITH VERSCHNA, WHO RESIDES IN ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE. AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU HAVE MADE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO COMMUNICATE WITH VERSCHNA AS WELL.
SIZZLE, YOU MAY VERY WELL BE THIS ORIGIN OF TIME THAT SHE SPEAKS OF. BUT IN MY CULTURE, WE WOULD NAME YOU "CONDUIT". FOR YOU MAY BE A PRODUCT OF THOSE EXPERIMENTS FROM SO LONG AGO.
I... I don't know what to say to that. Except to counter that I'm not an octopus.
WHO CAN SAY WHAT GENETIC CHANGES MAY HAVE OCCURRED IN THE MILLIONS OF YEARS SINCE THE EXPERIMENT?
YES... THIS FITS VERY WELL INTO MY OWN STUDIES. THE ORIGIN OF TIME MAY VERY WELL ALSO BE A CONDUIT. THE LEGENDS FIT TOGETHER NICELY.
BUT THERE IS ONE MORE THING, ONE MORE PART OF THE LEGEND I HAVE NOT MENTIONED YET...
Alright, Prime, I'll bite. What's the last bit you still have to tell us?
SIZZLE... THE CONDUITS...
...
Spit it out, buddy.
THE CONDUITS DID NOT JUST DISAPPEAR. SOME BELIEVE THAT THEY WERE SACRIFICES. THEIR LIVES BROUGHT TO AN ABRUPT END. FOR SCIENCE. FOR RELIGION. FOR PHILOSOPHY. THEY BELIEVE THAT THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY FOR THE CONDUITS TO SEEK OUT THE REALMS OF THE CREATORS. THEY NEEDED TO DISCARD THEIR BODIES, AND PASS THROUGH WITH ONLY THEIR SOULS BARED.
Oh great! Just great! Et tu, Brute?
I AM SORRY, SIZZLE. BUT I WHOLEHEARTEDLY BELIEVE THIS TO BE THE TRUTH. YOU ARE A CONDUIT, SOMEHOW. YOU HAVE RETURNED FROM THE OVERWORLD TO TAKE MY PEOPLE TO THE HOME OF OUR CREATORS.
...AND THE ONLY WAY TO DO THIS IS FOR YOU TO SHED YOUR BODY. AS THE CONDUITS OF LEGEND HAD DONE.
YES. THIS WILL SERVE BOTH OUR PURPOSES. PERHAPS THAT IS NO COINCIDENCE.
Wait a second here! What you're both so casually talking about is the end of my life!
NO, SIZZLE. PLEASE DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME. I DO NOT SPEAK THUSLY WITH A CASUAL AIR. ON THE CONTRARY...
SIZZLE, SINCE I HAVE MET YOU, YOU HAVE CONTINUED TO SURPRISE ME, OVER AND OVER. FIRST, WHEN YOUR HUMAN VOICE ENTERED MY MIND. THEN AGAIN WHEN YOU SAVED MY LIFE. AND YET AGAIN WHEN YOU SAVED MY PEOPLE. YOU HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARILY GOOD HEART, AND YOU HAVE CAUSED ME TO LOOK AT YOUR RACE IN A WHOLE NEW LIGHT. NOT ONLY THAT, BUT YOU HAVE CAUSED ME TO THINK ABOUT MY OWN PEOPLE IN NEW WAYS.
I DO NOT VIEW YOUR LIFE AS INCIDENTAL. I SEE YOU AS NO LESS THAN AN OTHER-WORLDLY SAVIOR. OVERWORLDLY, TO PUT A FINE POINT ON IT. I SEE YOU AS A PALADIN FOR MY PEOPLE. NO, SIZZLE. I DO NOT THINK OF YOU CASUALLY. I LOOK UPON YOU MOST REVERENTLY.
Thank you Octomus. Those are very kind words, although they make me a little uncomfortable. I just did what felt right, that's all.
YES. YOU DID. YOU EXAMINED THE SITUATION, FOUND THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING YOU COULD DO ABOUT IT, AND DISREGARDING YOUR OWN SAFETY, YOU SAVED ME AND MY PEOPLE. YOU SAVED ALL THE PEOPLE. THE ENTIRE PLANET.
NOW, IT IS NOT JUST OUR PEOPLES THAT YOU CAN SAVE. IT IS ALL THE PEOPLES OF ALL THE REALMS. IT IS, QUITE LITERALLY, EVERYONE.
This is too much! I'm just a dude! Why is it on my shoulders to save everyone?
YOU ARE AT THE CENTER OF ALL OF THIS, SIZZLE, WELL-INTENTIONED OR NOT. IF NOT FOR YOU, WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS PREDICAMENT. YOU'RE THE ORIGIN OF TIME, AND YOU ARE CAUSING EVERYTHING TO COLLAPSE IN ON ITSELF. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS. YOUR CONTINUED EXISTENCE WILL PUT AN END TO EVERTHING FOR ALL OF US.
This was too much. Too fast. What were my options? I could choose life, but then all life would end. Or I could choose to be a human sacrifice to the gods, essentially. And save the world. The universe. The multiverse. But I didn't want to die! It wasn't fair! Life had finally gotten so interesting! Just a couple of years ago, I was a depressed factory worker in a dead end position, living day to day in an endless drudgery. Now that I've discovered all these new powers, I've improved the lives of my family, made friends with octopuses and aliens, and become the superhero that I've always wanted to be! I saved the fricken world, for goodness sake!
And now, here I was. With this impossible choice to make.
But, the more I thought about it, it wasn't even a choice between life and death. It was death and death! Either way, it was the end for me. So it wasn't really a hard decision, was it? The obvious thing to do was to be the superhero that I wanted to be, and make the ultimate move. I just needed to make that leap. I was standing on the metaphoric precipice, my toes dangling over the edge, staring at the abyss below. Only, I didn't see anything. Because I had no idea what was down there at the bottom.
I took a long, deep breath.
Alright. What do I have to do?...
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