Nexus

IF I COULD NOT SEE IN YOUR MIND THE TRUTH BEHIND YOUR WORDS, I WOULD NOT BELIEVE THIS TALE.

...I'm sure I left some stuff out, but that's the gist of it. It's been a pretty wild journey, Octomus! After meeting you, I didn't think my life could possibly get any weirder. Ha!

YOU HAVE CLEARLY BEEN ENGINEERED WITH INCREDIBLE ABILITIES. A HUMAN, WHO CAN MIND-SPEAK WITH US... EVEN MORE ASTONISHING, ONE WHO CAN BRIDGE THE DIMENSIONS OF REALITY AT WILL! THE QUESTION IS, WHY? WHAT IS YOUR PURPOSE? WHAT IS YOUR DESTINY?

THE SAGES MUST LEARN OF THIS. THEY WILL GATHER FOR COUNCIL AND DECIDE UPON A RESPONSE.

What do you mean "a response"?

THIS IS CLEARLY A DISCOVERY WORTH DISCUSSION. THERE MAY NEED TO BE CHANGES IN THE WAY WE INTERACT WITH HUMANS IN LIGHT OF THIS KNOWLEDGE. WE HAVE BEEN UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT YOUR SPECIES IS NOT INTELLIGENT ENOUGH TO MERIT MUCH CONCERN. MILDLY INTERESTING, AT BEST. AT THE WORST, A SLIGHT NUISANCE. EITHER WAY, RATHER INCONSEQUENTIAL.

BUT THIS IS A NEW DEVELOPMENT WORTH SPENDING RESOURCES TO STUDY. YOU MUST SUBMIT TO TESTING.

Testing. What do you mean, testing?

WE NEED TO DISCOVER THE PARAMETERS OF YOUR ABILITIES. THERE IS ALSO A POSSIBILITY THAT THE SAGES WILL WANT TO SEE YOU IN PERSON. THEY WILL WANT TO KNOW MORE.

Yeah, I don't know how comfortable I am being some sort of test subject.

FEAR NOT. YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED.

Fear not? Who saysthat sort of thing? Unless they actually were planning some dastardly deed? Just before they lead you to the slaughterhouse. "Fear not! For my intentions with this knife are good!"

I APOLOGIZE IF I HAVE FRIGHTENED YOU. I TRULY WISH YOU NO HARM. I FIND YOU FASCINATING. I WANT TO UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE.

Listen, I don't mind talking to your sages, but nobody is going to be touching me or anything. Nothing up my bum, either! No probing!

PROBING...

I got the strong sensation that he was shaking his head, inside his head.

HUMANS...

Can octopuses roll their eyes? I swear he was rolling his eyes.

YOUR... PHYSICAL PRESENCE IS NOT NEEDED TO FORM A NEXUS BETWEEN OUR MINDS.

You can do that? From here? Is there an extra charge for long distance calls?

AN EXTRA CHARGE FOR LONG DISTANCE CALLS?

Nevermind.

HOW ELSE DO YOU THINK I COMMUNICATE WITH THE SAGES TO REPORT MY FINDINGS? IT IS NOT EXACTLY THE SAME AS HOW YOU AND I ARE CONVERSING RIGHT NOW, HOWEVER. IT IS... WEAKER. THEY ARE FAR AWAY, AND SO TOOLS MUST BE UTILIZED.

What kind of tools? Like an antenna hat that you wear?

I HAVE FARSPEAKERS IMPLANTED IN MY ARMS. THEY CAN AMPLIFY MY SENDING. WITH FARSPEAKERS, I CAN SEND LONG DISTANCES. GREATER DISTANCE CREATES MORE STATIC, HOWEVER, SOMEWHAT DEGRADING THE QUALITY OF THE SENDING.

That's kinda cool.

KINDA COOL. YES.

That eyerolling sensation again.

Alright. Sure. I'll talk to them. Why not?

I immediately felt the sensation of... crowding in my mind. A murmuring kind of feeling. I know murmuring is something you normally hear, but I could sense it in my mind now. Like distant, quiet whispers. Every time I get a voice in my head (and I'm astonished that it is now almost becoming mundane to hear a voice in my head that is not my own), it speaks directly to me. This is the first time I've heard voices in my head that were not even addressing me. They were just there. Like sitting in a restaurant and hearing the other tables quietly having their own conversations.

There was a kind of gurgling noise suddenly. Like a child blowing bubbles into their chocolate milk with a straw while humming.

HEAR ME.

The murmuring lessened, but did not go away altogether.

I HAVE ESTABLISHED THIS NEXUS TO INTRODUCE YOU TO A HUMAN WITH REMARKABLE ABILITIES. THIS IS THE SPECIMEN THAT HAS BEEN THE FOCUS OF MY RESEARCH RECENTLY. IT IS AN ADULT MALE, AND CAN SEND.

There was a notable increase in the intensity of mumbling and then, after a moment, this time all fell silent.

Octomus Prime seemed purposefully to let the silence drag out for dramatic effect. When he was satisfied that he had their full attention, he began.

THIS HUMAN IS CALLED JAMIE BLAISE. I HAVE LEARNED THAT HE CAN SEND. HE IS STILL LIKE A YOUNG HATCHLING, NOT YET FULLY NUANCED IN THE FINER INTRICACIES OF SENDING WITH PURPOSE AND PRECISION. HE LEARNS QUICKLY, HOWEVER. SO FAR AS I AM AWARE, HE IS UNIQUE AMONG HIS SPECIES. STRANGELY, HIS MIND MAY BE DIVIDED, AS HE CONVERSES WITH A VOICE IN HIS HEAD THAT HE DESCRIBES AS HIS OWN. THIS MAY BE A SIDE AFFECT IN A STEP ALONG THE EVOLUTIONARY PATH, OR PERHAPS A TOUCH OF MADNESS. I FIND HIM TO BE QUITE HARMLESS, HOWEVER. EVEN AMUSING, AT TIMES, THOUGH NOT INTENTIONALLY.

The murmuring increased again for a moment, until one voice called out louder than the rest.

THIS IS VERY INTRIGUING. I ADMIT THAT I HAVE DISCOUNTED RUMORS OF THE ABILITY TO SEND AMONG OTHER SPECIES, THOUGH THE SUBJECTS OF THOSE RUMORS WERE USUALLY LIMITED TO DOLPHINS OR MICE. I HAVE NEVER HEARD ANY ABOUT HUMANS. TELL US, HOW STRONGLY CAN IT SEND?

I HAVE NO DIFFICULTIES SENDING AT CLOSE PROXIMITY. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME TESTING THE USE OF A NEXUS.

A different voice interrupted.

AND YOU BELIEVE HE MAY BE INFLICTED WITH MADNESS? MIGHT THERE BE ANOTHER EXPLANATION FOR THIS OTHER VOICE THAT HE HEARS?

A strong sense of condescensionwashed over the group, and a new voice entered the discussion.

THOUGH WE HAVE RECENTLY ACKNOWLEDGED YOU AS A NEOPHYTE AMONG THE SAGES, OPPLESIUS, YOU HAVE NOT YET EARNED THE PRIVILEGE OF PARTICIPATION IN THIS NEXUS. YOUR ROLE IS TO LISTEN, AND TO LEARN. YOU WILL REMAIN SILENT.

JAMIE BLAISE, WE WOULD HEAR FROM YOU DIRECTLY. ARE YOU ABLE TO SEND TO US?

Uh... hi?

There was a stunned silence. After a moment, the voice responded.

YES. WE GREET YOU.

Wow. This is a little overwhelming. I'm still getting used to the idea that I can talk to octopuses. This really changes my world view, you know? Though, that seems to be happening to me a lot lately...

Another brief silence.

I SEE... WE ARE EQUALLY ASTONISHED, I ASSURE YOU. HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO ANY OTHER OCTOPUSES BEFORE?

No, I don't think so. Just Octomus Prime.

YES... OCTOMUS PRIME...

At his name, I could almost sense a sneer.

Why do you say his name like that?

JAMIE BLAISE DOES NOT MEAN TO OFFEND WITH HIS QUESTION, HONORED SAGE.

I got the feeling that Octomus was leaping to my rescue for some reason. Offend? How was that offensive?

HE IS LEARNING QUICKLY. HE IS BEGINNING TO PICK UP ON NUANCES IN SENDINGS.

JAMIE BLAISE, HUMANS HAVE GIVEN ME THIS NAME OF "OCTOMUS PRIME". IT IS NOT, HOWEVER, THE NAME I WAS GIVEN AT BIRTH AMONG MY OWN KIND. HERE, I AM KNOWN AS IONASSIS.

Oh! I'm sorry, Ionassis! It never occurred to me that- I hope I haven't offended you!

NO, YOU DO NOT OFFEND ME. STRANGELY, I HAVE DEVELOPED AN AFFECTION FOR MY HUMAN GIVEN NAME.

YOU WILL BE ADDRESSED BY YOUR BIRTH NAME, IONASSIS. NOT BY THIS FALSE APPELLATION FORCED UPON YOU BY THE PRIMITIVE HUMAN SEA SLUGS.

YES. YES, OF COURSE, YOUR EMINENCE. IT WILL BE AS YOU DECREE.

YES, IT WILL BE. I SINCERELY HOPE, IONASSIS, THAT YOUR TIME SPENT AMONG THE INFERIOR SPECIES HAS NOT STAINED YOUR LOYALTIES AND CAUSED YOU TO FORGET YOUR OBJECTIVES.

I ASSURE YOU THAT MY RESEARCH HAS BEEN CARRIED OUT WITH INTEGRITY AND I AM, AND ALWAYS WILL BE, A LOYAL SUBJECT TO OCTOPUS-KIND.

SEE THAT YOU ARE.

An uncomfortable silence stretched out, then mercifully the first octopus spoke up again.

JAMIE BLAISE, DO YOU HAVE ANY INFLUENCE AMONG YOUR SPECIES?

Influence? What, like politically?

IONASSIS HAS DEDUCTED THAT YOU HUMANS HAVE CREATED A PRIMITIVE SORT OF GOVERNANCE. ARE YOU HIGHLY REGARDED AMONG THE HIERARCHY OF THIS STRUCTURE?

Uh, no. I'm just an ex-factory worker with a blog. I'm nobody important.

I SEE. AND THIS FACTORY YOU SPEAK OF, DOES IT CONTRIBUTE TO GLOBAL WARMING?

Hmm... yeah, maybe. A little. Probably. But I'm guessing less than many other types of manufacturing. Why?

YOU WILL RAMP UP PRODUCTION.

Uh, I only just worked there. I wasn't, like, the boss or anything. And I retired, anyway. What the hell are you talking about?

DO YOU OPERATE AN AUTOMOBILE THAT RUNS ON PETROLEUM?

Uh, yeah? I guess. Don't all cars run on, uh, petroleum, pretty much?

YOU WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO.

What the hell is with this guy? He's not making any sense. He's all over the place!

I DO NOT NEED TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU, HUMAN. YOU NEED ONLY CONCERN YOURSELF WITH ANSWERING THE QUESTION.

Crap! He can hear my thoughts!

YES. YOU WOULD DO WELL TO REMEMBER THAT. AND TO KNOW THAT WE ARE THE SUPERIOR SPECIES. IT IS LONG PAST THE TIME WHEN HUMANS REALIZE THIS. YOU WILL SOON LEARN, HOWEVER.

Listen. You can get off your high horse, or seahorse, or whatever. Maybe you've been at this telepathy shit longer than I have, but that's no reason to be an asshole. I've treated you with respect, and I expect the sa-

-NO. IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO LISTEN. YOUR SPECIES IS A MEANS TO AN END, AND THAT IS ALL. YOU ARE A TOOL FOR THE ASCENSION OF OUR SPECIES. YOU HAVE SHOWN DISREGARD FOR THIS PLANET, AND YOU EARN NO RESPECT FROM US. YOU MAY RESIDE AT HIGHER ELEVATIONS, BUT YOU ARE BENEATH US. YOU ARE A SEA SLUG WITH A SET OF THUMBS. YOUR SIMPLE BRAIN COULD NOT BEGIN TO FATHOM EVOLVING MULTIPLE ARMS WITH THE DEXTERITY THAT WE POSSESS.

NOW, HERE ARE YOUR ORDERS. YOU WILL-

Excuse me? Orders? Who the hell do-

SILENCE!

This was shouted in my mind so loudly and abruptly that my body actually jerked as if physically struck. I may have even peed a little (just a little bit).

YOU WILL NOT INTERRUPT ME! YOU WILL LEARN SUBSERVIENCE, HUMAN! WE CAN MAKE THINGS VERY DIFFICULT FOR YOU, IF NEEDED. YOU DO NOT WANT THAT, I ASSURE YOU.

I did not reply. I felt that was prudent at the moment.

GOOD. WE HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING, THEN.

YOU WILL INCREASE YOUR OUTPUT OF GREENHOUSE GASES IN EVERY WAY THAT YOU CAN. YOU WILL INFLUENCE YOUR LEADERS TO DO THE SAME. YOU-

What the hell were these guys talking about?! They are insane! My bewilderment was so profound that I couldn't mask my thoughts.

YOU DO NOT NEED TO KNOW WHY. YOU WILL SIMPLY FOLLOW ORDERS.

AND FURTHERMORE, JAMIE BLAISE, YOU WILL REFRAIN FROM SPEAKING TO OTHER HUMANS ABOUT US.

With all due respect, er... I don't even know your name...

YOU WILL ADDRESS ME AS "YOUR EMINENCE".

Yeah, that's a hard "no". Whatever you call yourself, I feel the need to tell you that you have no authority over me. You-

I DEMAND YOUR SUBSERVIENCE, YOU SEA SLUG! YOU WILL ADDRESS-

You might be able to get away with speaking to Octomus Prime this way if you're his leader (I couldn't help but put a little emphasis on his human-given name here), but I find respect is a two-way street. You are not my leader! You can't tell me what to do. And the way you are speaking to me is not very pleasant, either!

Now, if you want me to keep your secret, then you can ask me. Politely. Or, you can feel free to kiss my ass. It's up to you. There's no reason to be an asshole. So get off your high horse and talk to me respectfully. Or this conversation is over.

If there is a way to hear a gasp without actually hearing an audible sound, I heard one. This, clearly, is not how they were used to being spoken to. But I couldn't just sit here and take that crap. He's got no hold over me.

Suddenly, there was a high pitched buzzing in my head, so loud that it was painful. It was almost like a drill into my brain. Then, just as suddenly, it was gone.

And so was the nexus.

Ionassis was still there, though. And he felt shocked.

THAT... WAS EITHER VERY STUPID, OR VERY BOLD. OR, PERHAPS, BOTH.

I FEAR I MAY BE IN SOME TROUBLE OVER THIS. BUT TO BE HONEST, THAT... THAT WAS... THE WAY YOU STOOD UP TO SUPREME LIKE THAT! WOW...

I really didn't like his tone. Who the hell is he to talk to anyone like that?

WELL, HE IS SUPREME.

A supreme jerk, maybe. I'm sorry if I got you in any trouble, Ionassis.

NO, IT IS OK. I HAVE NEVER LIKED SUPREME. HE DEMANDS RESPECT THAT HE DOES NOT EARN. IT WAS GOOD TO SEE HIM CALLED OUT FOR IT! IT WAS VERY... SATISFYING. THOUGH, LIKELY NO GOOD WILL COME OF IT. HE WILL NOT CHANGE. AND HE WILL NOT FORGET.

Well, he's not my leader. He doesn't get to treat me like one of his subjects. He has no authority over me.

PERHAPS NOT, BUT IF I HAD NOT SEVERED THE NEXUS, YOU WOULD LIKELY BE INCAPACITATED RIGHT NOW. HE BEGAN TO PUNISH YOU FOR YOUR TRANSGRESSION.

That buzzing that tried to bore a hole through my brain? That was him?

YES. HE WAS VERY ANGRY. HE COULD HAVE DAMAGED YOUR BRAIN. HE WOULD HAVE, I THINK. I FEAR WHAT WILL HAPPEN THE NEXT TIME I ATTEMPT A NEXUS WITH THE SAGES. YOU SHOULD AVOID THIS.

Oh no! I don't want to get you in any trouble! It wasn't you, anyway! It was me! But, how could he even do that? Hurt me from so far away?

HE IS VERY POWERFUL. THEY ARE ALL VERY STRONG, BUT SUPREME IS THE MOST POWERFUL OF ALL. THAT IS WHY HE IS SUPREME.

I'm not sure I like this. I have no obligation to them, anyway. They can go suck on a sea slug.

Are they like that to you, too?

THEY ARE THE SAGES. THEY... THERE IS NOTHING THAT I... IT IS WHAT IT IS.

You know, I used to believe that. "It is what it is" . But I've discovered lately that it doesn't have to be.

Good luck with your sages, my friend. I'd tell you not to take any of their shit, but, well, as you said, I guess... it is what it is. Later, Prime. Oh, sorry. Ionassis, I mean.

FAREWELL, JAMIE BLAISE.

I didn't know at the time that Octomus Prime, a.k.a. Ionassis, would no longer be at the aquarium the next time I visited.